racvegas04

01:10 pm: GRR!
i'm still alive..and happy!
daming dapat gawin..and yet yaw ko magcmula..
cccccccccrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmm!
that's my forte..

03:04 pm: ...
i don't knw wat 2 ryt..
i'm supposed to play ball at this moment..
kso d p ko tntxt ng friend ko..
kya eto ngaun aq nagsasayang ng oras..
pero sa totoo..
dmi aq gagawin..
papers..
exams..
projects..
haay, kkpagod un..
kya since it's friday..
i just wanna enjoy my life..
though i'm enjoying it on a day2day basis..

08:37 am: wheow! atlast..
i don't have any intentions to continue this journal..but suddenly, i realized that it's beneficial..Oops, i have two quizzes today and haven't study yet..but i can manage..by nine i'll start studying.

as of now, i'm happy..happy for two reasons: I'm with God and Yola Mari..
hey, i did not say that Yola is my GF. wish ko lang! But she's a very special friend at the moment.

my academic life seems good..my grades are better than last term .
The Maynilad study center helps a lot, reminding me of my purpose in life- to know, love ,and serve God. (tama ba? correct me if i'm wrong) Lagot ako kay Sir Ferdz..

realizations the past few days:
- no regrets! as JEBB says.
- Blame yourself, not others! as you can only control yourself n not others
- don't show the world you're suffering..be cheerful!
- and finally, always ask for God's help..pray!

it's time to study..
thanks for reading..
r^_^y!

03:21 pm: la lang

untitled

kung alam mo lang
kung gaano mo ko napapasaya
sa tuwing tayo'y nagkikita

kung alam mo lang
ngiti mo'y nagpapasigla
sa matamlay kung haraya

kung alam mo lang
kung gaano kahalaga
ang bawat text mo sinta

kung alam mo lang
ngunit  paano mo nga malalaman
kung di ko pa kayang masaktan.

02:08 pm: A reflection...

I thought I was doing great the past three weeks but then I realized I was not. What is happening right now is basically the same as what I did the past terms- a good start then the “ningas-kogon” attitude takes place. I had committed so many errors I the past and I don’t want the lightning to strike twice unless it’s a good event. I tried to correct all of these at the same time but I’m just a human, that’s why I failed again.

 

I had made a personal diary lately, visited the PGP almost every day, heard mass every Sunday, controlled my addiction to NBA live, did chores, etc.

 

So basically, I did great but I’m not satisfied as the other side of the story is this,

 

Didn’t wake up on time, spent too much time on bed and sofa, attached with Mulawin, laziness in taking down notes rather rewriting notes, etc.

 

I was inspired this term maybe because of “her” or maybe because of the importance of the task ahead (to maintain my scholarship, etc). I am becoming attached with “her” emotionally but physically speaking, I am not. She just transformed me into a better person but I’m not quite satisfied with the turn of events. Honestly, speaking, I don’t know what is inside my hypothalamus as it continuously gives signal to my heart to beat faster every time I see her. I’m confused!

 

It seems I’m loosing control with my life again. These motivations are all extrinsic that’s why I’m this crazy. But I have thought of a nice answer to all of these, faith in God. I need to see a priest soon. I cannot overcome all of these alone. Sorry unbelievers…

03:12 pm: I'm sorry...

I was hesitant to update my journal the past weeks since anyone could read it besides i want to be secretive. My life was an open book previous to my decision that I need some space to reflect on things and events in my life. Yes, friends are important but I cant just say everything.

And this blog/journal really helps! as i am really fond of sharing stories

By the way, I am pretty contented with my schedule this term although she is not my classmate and if i am not mistaken, i have not seen this girl. That's the only thing i miss this term. i am looking forward to see and talk to her. (I have not talked to her that lasted 10 minutes. It was always been a fast chat. What are you doing here, what/where is your class? and the likes.)

 Still, I am very glad that i have some other means to get closer with her. She visited me in my dreams the past days and greeted me with a smile. I want to watch the game between DLSU-ADMU on Sunday!!! Help me get ticket(s)...

Just to be fare...Here's some important events that happened the past weeks. - I was happy to visit my alma mater twice in a span of 3 weeks.

- Watched a couple of films during the break - Played chess with La Sallians and lost! That's why a day after i studied my moves and memorize an opening. - tended our canteen. - attended a debut practice - played NBA live, and I am learning to avoid it - met new friends in my classes. - still working with my special class... - am on a mission to save money - watch the La Salle's emphatic win over Ateneo (TV). - I had a class from 3-5 but fortunately we were just 5 in class and my prof is not feeling well. We were dismissed after about 10 minutes. I went home in the fastest way I could and around 4:15 or so, watched the game and just missed a part of the first quarter.

12:16 pm: a question about life...
Life is a gift from God. True enough, I cannot be here if there is no such thing.
Sorry for the unbelievers! Livejournal ko to! But my problem is that, should we be happy when there's something to be happy about?

To my friends, kindly correct my philosophy that life is neutral. When one becomes happy it comes with sadness in the end or in the future. There's no such thing as everlasting happiness here in Earth. That's why, I do not want to be too happy because i do not want to be hurt so much. i know there is something wrong with this.

I am doing this because I need some guidance from any people. I am looking for people who can change me as a person for the better.

Right now, I am trying not to be happy bacause I do not want to be sad. But by doing this, I am cheating myself. In fact, I am about to cry.

Why? I am having a great day today. I woke up early even though i slept late last night and tired of our field trip (ecological trip to Payatas, La Mesa watershed, and Avilon Zoo(Montalban, Rizal)) yesterday. I had watched the US being badly-beaten by a Carlos Arroyo led-Puerto Rican team. I like underdogs but seeing the Americans losing is a sad thing. But that's life! It didn't affect my day entirely,though. Then I was in school at about 7 for a make up class in RELS2. Although, few attended it, I was a bit happy as I was able to fix the error-prone presentation of a CCS student about the Sacraments. I was a bit fulfilled! But controlled my happiness as I do not want to cry afterwards. I fear that if I'll be extremely happy I'll be very sad later.

Then I was a bit drowsy in our ECOLOGG class. But was able to answer the question, Where is Mt. Pulog located? Though, it was a success making me proud and alive that for the "first" time, I amazed my HumanBio classmates. I feel so inferior when they are my classmates.

I drank coffee in the College Canteen to stay alive nad kicking. I was able to help a foreigner classmate translate the script of a movie into Filipino while a group wa defending their paper. Then came, our turn to defend ours and it was unique as it was a primary experiment as compared to others. Our Professor event treated the whole class to a merienda (Turon and Bibingka?).

I should be happy after all. Besides, I read that Hannah's message making peace. But I am continuously thinking of my BIOORG2 exam. I feel I did not perform well in the test causing me to fail the course. Basically, that's the reason.

05:16 pm: tentative...
it seems ayaw ko nang magkwento d2..but knowing me..il stil do..
just a nonsense info - the reason why i continuously tells stories here
or talks too much is that i don want to die early! Based on research that's the reason why men die at a younger age than women kasi nagkikimkim ng nararamdaman ang men. Isa pa di acceptable sa society ang madadaldal na guys..Un!

i feel relieved..i just finished ur TRENSED report..i can say it's nice but NICO's report was the best! he has his own identity..he's better when left alone coz he can freely do whatever he wanted to do. Cge na nga..BILIB ako k Nico mor dan anyother clasmeyt of myn..kakaiba utak at nde basta-basta nananakit ng kapwa. Uhmm, iba talaga pas galing Saudi..hehe.

Ang sarap magresearch sa Periodicals section..i was able to reminisce some old memories with a special friend..kakatuwa!

i woke up l8 dan usual..l8 na kc ako n2log coz of the TRENSED report..
mamaya..OVERNIGHT ulit! para sa TINTECH.

im a bit occupied now with so much jobs to fulfill (acads)..mas ok na un kaysa naman mag-isip ng kung ano-ano.

Mahirap na..
Baka mamula pa ang aking mata
sa kakaisip sa 'yo "sinta".

(note: "sinta" doesn't automatically mean a person)

05:18 pm: the biorg2 exam aftershock...
akala ko sapat na ang pag-aaral ko for the test...but i was wrong...i was able to answer the exam but i'm not sure with my answers..but definitely, il get a better grade in it.. sana passing na.. taghirap talaga ako sa Organic Chem, ang hirap pa magpatest ng prof namin. Hope il pass kasi if not..yari ako!

11:54 am: hehe..
It seems i am happy as of the moment kc i did study in BIOORG2 3-4AM and 8-11AM and understood the reactions. Nkta ko pa c Yola sa SJ walk..i talked to her just for a minute kc nga mag-aaral pa ako. Medyo kinakabahan ako sa test ko mamaya..Hope il pass..nagrerelax lang ng kaunti at maya-maya aral na ulit ako..